Mother of three?

A few nights ago, I began having this dream about having come back from some long imprisonment for having killed a man, yet with all of the memories of having raised my 19 month old son throughout the entire period. I come home to collect what is mine and find that I have, not one, but three beautiful children, two that I had to leave behind. One was a little boy and the other a sweet little girl who looked so much like myself at that age. I wasn't sure I wanted to be that mother of three and I didn't feel as though I even knew the first two, just the son that I have always known, but there was no way in hell I was going to leave my children again. It was like I had met the older two for the first time and had no knowledge at all of their existence until that moment. It seemed as though I were single and had almost noone to turn to, yet here were these strangers who had cared for my babies for me while I was away. They loved my children as though they were their own and didn't want to give them up. I felt so guilty for being the one to take my kids away from thefamilies they had grown to know and love, but also wanted a chance to know them and love them myself. The little boy had been kept with one family and the girl had stayed with another. They were kept separate yet had other siblings they had grown up with in their adoptive families. I kept wondering how I would be able to provide the same kind of loving environment without disrupting their lives. I wanted to love them so badly and for them to all know one another.

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