Mindgardens Dreams

Death in Dreams

2011-09-03T22:06:00.000-07:00

Last week I had a dream that left me particularly curious. I've often heard that if you die in your dreams, you could die in the real world as well. I obviously don't buy into that because I've had dreams where I've died, last week in particular. I remember the sky was a very deep greenish red... it was dusk. I stood at the edge of what seemed to be the earth with someone very dear to me and together we acknowledged the end was here. We knew we were about to die. It was as if we were the last people on Earth and our death was destined to happen. And then I felt pulled from my life.... darkness engulfing me and I struggled to hold onto consciousness but I knew I was dying and it was inevitable so I succumbed. Moments later, I woke up from the dream... dazed... a little confused but feeling somehow at peace. I did manage to fall back to sleep but awoke later with that one dream on my mind. It really made an impact on me.

Ever have amnesia? I have....

2006-08-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

And it happened last night. The dream seems to be fading quickly so maybe amnesia is more common than we think? I remember this living an entirely different life and only a few people from my current "real life" remained the same, but not until the very end... In this dream, I made new memories, had new friend and family members, different life experiences, maybe even a different way of thinking about things. We had moved a few times so I had memories of several different places of residency. I had become involved in a few romances that probably never lasted. They were almost out of a fairytale book. I believe one of the men I had become involved with was quite similar in appearance to a guy I currently work with, but he definitely was not the same guy. He was definitely sexy though!!!! Tall, thin, long, blonde hair... and had an aura about him that drove me nuts. It was a temporary thing.

I remember the last place we moved to.... but I think it was more than one residence. We were neighbors it seems. I lived with a girl who had a peculiar relation to me and what might have been her family and my family had just moved in next door. I remember going to some sort of baseball throwing contest with my family. It was at that moment, while we stood their preparing for competition with one another that it struck me.. something wasn't right. I had just congratulated my family for finally making the move to Greenville and that they would be so much happier now, but I suddenly knew something wasn't right. I kept straining to remember where I had lived before I recent move, but the only memories that could come to mind were places in my dream. But... I knew there was something more, something I couldn't put my finger on. What I didn't know, but soon realized once I woke up was that I had completely forgotten about my life outside of my dream. I began to panic a little and before I knew it, I was awake in a new place. Everything seemed immediately familiar, yet, I still hadn't gotten a grasp of where I was or who I was. I just knew I was back where I belonged. Like a sudden rush, memories flooded my brain and I was myself again, all memories intact... and the life I lived the night before quickly began to vanish as though it never had happened.

It is dreams like this that make me wonder how fragile one's memory really is. It seems that in an instant, it truly can be gone....

Art and Eruptions

2006-05-28T06:53:00.000-07:00

There were several dreams before, but the ones I can remember pick up at the point where I attend this meeting at the UU fellowship/church I'm going to. I remember walking into the room and there are two of my co-workers and their friend, my former supervisor. I sat far away from everyone. Afterwards, I went home and somehow, I must be in my old home in Greenwood.

I received a package in the mail and open it up to find some very nice high-quality, textured cards and envelopes. Further inside the box, I find bath soaps or something.... and a note of some sort that has some online screen names a "certain person" used to use and photos of his parents with their names. It was like some sort of card that his guy created as a kid and found, but decided to send to me. I remember showing it to my husband and questioning myself as to whether I should send it back or hang on to it to see what happened next. I was actually pretty irritated that he sent these things at all.

Then I remember walking into a room where a bunch of people from work and the UU church were congregated together in. It was some sort of important art meeting. We were to sketch these images that were supposed to be part of some project we were working on so that we wouldn't forget when we left the room what they looked like. I did a very nice drawing that somehow turned into a cake when I was finished...? We all put our works on a cart and it was to be wheeled off somewhere. Then one particular co-worker of mine set something on top of my work that totally messed it up. I was sooooo angry with him and ran off stomping mad. When I came back, someone told me he had been wrote up.

I walk out of the building and end up at some sort of auction at my old college. There are these sailor looking dudes trying to sell food and doo-dads and such. I'm so bored. My current boss is there and I get the impression I'm supposed to attend this auction, so I sit there for a few minutes. I finally realize I've had enough and leave with an ice cream sandwich I saw sitting there.. why not, it's melting anyway.

I walk past a bunch of younger college students who just got back from a trip and the others I was just with at the auction run up to meet them while the auctioneers take off on a ship. I'm feeling bad because I knew something I didn't tell the sailor auctioneers that could have saved their lives. I just sent them off to their deaths somehow. I'm telling this guy that I know very well (must be my husband) about it as if I had already talked with him before... and now my worst fears were realized. I must have had some sort of premonition. Then what I knew was awaiting them begun. It was almost dark now. I was remembering everything as if I had seen it on some old 80's movie, except in the movie, it was some young guy who was the lone survivor... hero. He was stuck in this A-frame house on the very top of a hill. There were huge eruptions under the water in N.Y. by the Statue of Liberty. It was underwater volcanoes. I remember saying they didn't happen quite like that, but they were erupting and so we moved to higher ground because I knew the entire place was going to flood with water. Once inside the A-frame house at the top of the highest hill, my husband invited a hamster in. I don't know why but I was scared of it. He let it down to run loose and I remember thinking that I didn't want this creature to crap on the carpet. The next thing I knew, it was licking my husband's feet like a dog... and now it was suddenly a cute puppy nibbling on his toes!!! Then the dream ended and I remembered I had to get up and get ready for the day.... we're celebrating Memorial Day with some friends. :)

Something to lose your head over

2006-03-26T06:46:00.000-08:00

I was taking art classes again at my old school, except, it was now here in Greenville. The classes were more for my pleasure than anything and I wasn't getting graded on what I did.... It began with some people who were interested in my artwork and them wanting to display it in their shows. I began to take interest in creating art again and remember working on some sort of life-size figure that must have been some sort of semi-carved collage painting. An instructor I had never met before was there working with me, giving me praise and sometimes suggestions. At some point, one of my former instructors whom I always felt did not like me came in. He was very pessamistic about my work and doubtful about my abilities while the other professor kept telling him to just watch. Near the end, I somehow seemed to prove myself to my old professor and he had begun to give suggestions and praise as well. I finally succeeded in impressing him.

This had become a part of my routine apparently as I remember driving up White Horse Road with my son in car, heading to the school to work on one of my projects. It seemed kind of dark outside as though it were about to rain. I got there and there were children playing everywhere, even inside the classroom I was going to. I let my child out to play with them and he was having such a good time. Somehow, the classroom was no longer about working on my project, but this place full of things for the kids to do. Some were playing outside and some inside and I could see all of them as the walls were full of roof to floor glass windows. I remember my ferrets being there as well... strange.

At some point, I wandered into another part of the school where I saw a bunch of teachers had gotten together for some sort of celebration. Upon two of these huge sheet cakes were the heads of some of the other teachers... Heads on a platter, almost literally. They were so proud of these cakes and I got this feeling of de ja veu as though I had seen this happen sometime before. They began to act a little bit like they thought they heard someone in the halls, but then relaxed. I was viewing this entire scene from above, although my body was physically in the hall watching what was happening. The next thing I knew, the cops had surrounded the place and arresting these teachers. I must have called them.

Florida & Family

2006-03-26T06:38:00.000-08:00

I've been on the road for a while with my son and am in Florida. It seems I'm going through Mascott towards Orlando. I run into my Mom along the way who is now driving a winnebago. We talk for a few about grabbing something to eat and meeting up with the rest of the family but go our separate ways. There was something different about her. I think she was alone....

I remember meeting up with my Grandmother and I think we had lunch and was on my way over to meet with my Dad as I had promised I would. She kept trying to encourage me to spend some more time with her but I was eager to get over to my Dad's. As I'm driving down the road, I look over and see some people driving MY other car. Well, I begin to get frantic because it dawns on me that my father has my son as well. I begin to freak out and start making silent threats that if anything had happened to my son, I would kill them. I call him and he sounds out of sorts as though something weren't right. In the next few minutes, I was there, pulling into the driveway ever so carefully in case my son were running loose. As I pulled in, I saw my Dad walking up the road as though he were looking for something. I began to panic. All I could think about was how I would kill him if anything had happened to my son. As I got out of my car, the dream ended and I laid in bed thankful that it was only a dream and remembering the fun time we all had together in Florida just a couple of weeks ago. Wow....

People I Know?

2006-03-21T19:00:00.000-08:00

I remember being a child or with children in the beginning. This dream had so much depth and was ongoing, yet, I have forgotten most of it. The parts that really stick out are my encounters with this young woman. I met her (or maybe I already knew her) at this somewhat ritzy uptown hangout. She had this slutty yet somehow classy appeal to her. Her hair was a dark yellowish blonde color and her lips were full and round. She had a volumptious figure and wore stylishly modest clothes. She had a face that seemed so familiar to me, yet I cannot place where I might have known her previously. We were sitting at a table together chatting. I left and was possibly searching for someone... a man maybe.

A little later, I came across a couple making out in the back of a semi-truck and realize that it was her and a guy interest of hers. She wasn't really thrilled about being caught and I went on about my business. I got the feeling she was leaving shortly after as well. I went back to the hangout and there were people all over. Brad Pitt or some guy who strongly resembled him was there in a rather well-list room with a bunch of people, mostly women. There were pillows everywhere and the room had a hazy glow about it. I thought this man was a bit egotistical and just snubbed him and went on. I ran into an older gentleman who was rather charming and worldly... perhaps even someone famous. We went for a stroll around the place, through a garden, down a path, up some stairs, into a room somewhere.... chatted a bit. I tried to be smooth and say intelligent things. I got the feeling he was supposed to be an important figure to know. We left and I went back to the hangout.

The woman I kept running into was there sitting at our table again. There seemed to be fog and mystique everywhere. The room was spinning and ominous. There was something about her that I can't explain that kept drawing me to her. She and her guy friend had established an interest in possibly getting married and it seemed important to me to help her with everything. In fact, I almost felt as though I were a part of her... that her needs and desires were my own. Wow... guess it was time to wake up because that's all I remember. lol.

Mother of three?

2006-03-04T06:54:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago, I began having this dream about having come back from some long imprisonment for having killed a man, yet with all of the memories of having raised my 19 month old son throughout the entire period. I come home to collect what is mine and find that I have, not one, but three beautiful children, two that I had to leave behind. One was a little boy and the other a sweet little girl who looked so much like myself at that age. I wasn't sure I wanted to be that mother of three and I didn't feel as though I even knew the first two, just the son that I have always known, but there was no way in hell I was going to leave my children again. It was like I had met the older two for the first time and had no knowledge at all of their existence until that moment. It seemed as though I were single and had almost noone to turn to, yet here were these strangers who had cared for my babies for me while I was away. They loved my children as though they were their own and didn't want to give them up. I felt so guilty for being the one to take my kids away from thefamilies they had grown to know and love, but also wanted a chance to know them and love them myself. The little boy had been kept with one family and the girl had stayed with another. They were kept separate yet had other siblings they had grown up with in their adoptive families. I kept wondering how I would be able to provide the same kind of loving environment without disrupting their lives. I wanted to love them so badly and for them to all know one another.

Bad Location?

2006-02-27T04:05:00.000-08:00

We bought a house as we do in so many of my dreams that resembled a house we lived at in Greenwood. As it always turns out, we weren't happy there so we continued to look. Somehow, we ended up in this single wide trailor (that I was absolutely horrified about). It seemed fairly new and as we stepped in, a huge wind began to blow quickly reminding me one of the reasons I never wanted to live in another trailor again. I'm thinking this is temporary, especially since this home was located right in the middle of a city with a parking lot for a yard and a gas station behind us. I remember walking up to my door one evening and seeing some people rushing into the gas station, one man with a huge automatic weapon in hand. I made a quick dash towards my home and hid at my front door, hoping noone had seen me. I wasn't so lucky. A woman had spotted me, strangely enough, she was mexican, and came after me. I don't know how she caught me but the next thing I knew, she was demanding money that I didn't have and each time I told her I had nothing, she sliced her knife down my arms from wrist to elbow. I remember feeling pain each time.

The next thing I remember, I was coming home again, this time with my husband and child. I peeked over to make sure noone was around who might hurt us. There was just a lonely looking bum. I didn't see the gas station this time. Instead, it was a bank. We tried to get settled into bed, with our son in between us. I wasn't about to let him sleep anywhere but with me after what had happened. I was so afraid those people would return. I remember having made a promise to someone that I would go see the Dr. in the morning but haven't got a clue why it wasn't important enough to go right away... or perhaps I did and skipped that part. My husband didn't seem as concerned about everything as I was as he was already asleep. I layed down and tried to go to sleep but the sink beside my bed kept spraying water in a pattern. I couldn't get it to stop. It would turn on and off again. I just knew I wouldn't be able to get any sleep. I got up to see if there was another place I might be able to get some sleep but the moment I stepped out my door into my well-lit house, I changed my mind and got back into my bed. I couldn't possibly sleep away from my family for any reason. The water continued to turn on and off and eventually I was awake with my alarm clock buzzing and my husband busy snoring away. Laughing to myself and thankful it was just a dream, but still disturbed by it all the same, I pushed him gently so he would roll over and stop snoring and went back to sleep, but not before peeking into the rest of the house to make sure everything was okay.

Random Dreams

2006-02-11T14:57:00.000-08:00

I vaguely remember kissing a certain someone again... wow... it's a trend. Anyway, that dream didn't stick for long.

I was with my family (Mom, Brothers, Grandmother and Son) at some car lot it seems. We were friends of this man who had left his really nice car there. Well, we decided he wouldn't mind if we just borrowed his car so we found his keys and started to load up into the car. I quickly realized that maybe that wasn't such a good idea afterall and told everyone we needed to get out of the car. Apparently, this car had some sort of alarm system that detects when the doors are left open for an extended period of time and began a warning signal letting us know it was about to transmit a message to the security company that someone might be stealing the car. My Grandmother was still in the car and had refused to get out stating that it would be fine for us to use it, so I was racing against time to convince her to get out, get the keys back into their compartment and close the doors. Like something you'd see in a movie, everything suddenly moved in extreme slow motion and I was immobilized, unable to move fast enough to get to the car. The alarm went off and immediately after, I heard the police pull up. For some reason, I felt it was important that I go and hide, so that one of us could achieve whatever mission we were on should we be arrested. My family convinced them that we were simply borrowing the car so we were safe.

Before I knew it, my Grandmother and I were on a path of some sort. There were four corners and we had to visit each of them to achieve our mission. I haven't got a clue what the mission was, just that I wanted to accomplish what I was going after.

Soon I was running around in a strange new town. I'm not sure what I was looking for. I just know that I was on foot and at one point, trying to escape this guy in a white car who was following behind me as I ran on the side walk. I don't know what he wanted, I think he was just trying to harrass me.

Well, turned the corner and found myself in the midst of a group of people standing around watching some bicycle show. I found myself observing several of the men there, some with romantic interest, others with caution. I sat down beside an elderly lady who somewhat reminded me of my own Grandmother to watch the show with everyone. The dream ended and I awoke to hear my silly child in his room playing.

An Affair

2006-02-10T03:11:00.000-08:00

I am now living alone with my son in this highrise loft apartment. The neighboring buildings had just caught fire near the top but firemen were able to extinguish the fires before they did any damage. I remember standing on my balcony, watching the flames and seeing all the people huddled together in their windows, watching as well while panicking because they were still in their burning buildings.

My son was still a small baby or perhaps I had a new son. I keep thinking my 18 month old was away with my Mom, so I must have had another child. This small life is so precious and I am loving being a mother to him. I put him down to sleep and watch him for a few minutes before leaving the room.

Out of the blue, someone I thought I'd never speak to again showed up at my door. Had he given up on his relationship to come see me? No, I think he still wanted to maintain that. He just fell prey to his own weaknesses again. We begin to make love and continue to do so for the entire night. I remember wondering why I was doing this and trying to convince him he should go home, but he wouldn't listen. Morning came and my husband came walking through the door. I wasn't freaked out or anything and he wasn't bothered by what was going on. It was odd, but he was actually being friendly to this guy.

My husband had a small package in his hand and he handed it to me. As I opened it, a pile of photos fell onto the table. Some were of me with hateful words written everywhere, and some of this guy's spouse depicting the fun moments they had together. At this time, the thought strikes me that she's carrying his baby. I feel a wave of guilt and try harder to convince him he should go home.

He attempts to leave but it seems that no matter how hard he tries, something gets in the way of his leaving. Suddenly we're in this workout gym type area and it's obviously at my new workplace. I must have gotten that new job I am to interview for! Well, his Mother arrives and is so friendly to me that it makes me incredibly nervous. Shortly after, "she" arrives as well. We try to be cordial to each other and even form some sort of odd friendship. We're just trying to get through the day because for some reason, we have to. But, alas, another dream ended over a beeping alarm clock.

Old House

2006-02-09T03:42:00.000-08:00

I'm living once again in the run-down old house we used to live in located in Ware Shoals. It was once a nice little place on 3 acres out in the country and my family had owned it before having lost it to unpaid taxes. I remember trying so hard to save the place, but my credit wasn't good enough to get a loan at the time and I really just didn't know the right avenues to take to do what needed to be done, plus, it would have hampered my goals to move to Greenville to live and work. My memories of this place are mostly unhappy as this is where I spent a good part of my teenage years growing up and if anyone knows me, they'd know those were some of the hardest years of my life.

Anyway, the place, as it is in most of my dreams, is being remodeled or is in some sort of livable condition, although there are holes in the floor and walls in the master bedroom and places where the wall was just non-existent. In reality, its ceiling was falling in and rain was always pouring into our room. We'd place trashcans and buckets underneath to catch it and just lay there and listen to the rain pour as we slept.

This time, my son is living there with my husband and I and it seems that my step-father has been doing some rennovations for us. There are new bathroom and laundry facilities in the back room that used to be where one of my brothers stayed. The bedroom that used to be mine and adjoining bathroom as well as the kitchen were pretty much the same, just dirtier and in need of cleaning. I think in the back of my mind, I'm hoping this is going to be so temporary that I won't need to bother with it, but if these rennovations are done quickly enough and the house is made nice enough in time, perhaps it would be worth the effort.

We have some visitors arrive who also have children. I don't know them, but apparently my step-father or someone does or perhaps I do, but it's just one of those things where my dream state knows but my conscious self just didn't get clued in. They find whatever places available to sleep and stay the night. The next morning, the mother is up and in my kitchen cooking us all breakfast. I think this is pretty nice of her but I worry about the dirtiness of the place as she's cooking. We just got there, afterall, and even if I did plan to clean it, I hadn't had the time yet. She doesn't seem to mind and cooks anyway. I remember the food smelled so good as it was cooking and of course I was hungry.

Enchanting House

2006-02-05T05:13:00.000-08:00

We finally make a new move into a new house. My husband and family aren't the people I know outside of my dream world. In fact, my mother-in-law turns out to be a mysteriously evil witch who has her house connected to ours but I don't discover this until later.

The house is huge, built of fancy, red brick stones with big finely carved glass windows. Every surrounding house in the neighborhood has an enchanting look about them. The lawns are perfectly manicured and all of the yards beautifully landscaped with luscious green grass, huge, towering oaks, and a variety of other magnificent trees such as elms and weeping willows. It is like a scene from a fairy tale. The steps at the front of the house are made of brick with a grand entrance but the steps to the side entrance where most family members might prefer to enter the house were made quite differently, obviously more for exquisite beauty and annoyance than anything else. They were these very oddly shaped tree branches cut to create a maze of sharp, winding steps. You virtually had to climb them as you would a tree to get up to the next level. The tops were cut to a slanted point so you wouldn't want to fall and land on one. They weren't built vertically either, but zigzagged in a criss-cross direction which is what gave them their exotic appeal.

The inside of the house was not as spectacular but nice all the same. It was a house that you would probably see chandeliers hanging in the more formal rooms, but the family rooms were very plain with high ceilings throughout. The grand living room seemed to have a comfortable feel about it with a modern appeal. The ceilings were much higher and there seemed to be huge, towering bookshelves that spanned from wall to wall. The furniture was made of oak and there was oak crafted into the walls and structure as well. It was where the teenagers and older children preferred to hang out and sleep. It seemed that there were people everywhere at times. Our room (not sure who "we" were) was not far from the living room and it was conjoined with my mother-in-law's house by short but brightly lit hall. Her door was white and adorned with crystals and shimmering glass.

In the beginning, I remember being in this house before ever seeing the outside and feeling as though I were a guest in another family's home but soon my identity seemed to merge with that of the woman of the house which is why I probably wasn't sure who I was. It was almost like the storyteller became confused and forgot who she was and began living her own story. As time passed, it became clear to me that this was to be my home and I began finding baby blankets and things that were once my child's packed away in storage below. I remember thinking that I needed to get my spirits up so that I could begin fixing the place up and getting all of our packed things out and put up where they belong. With this in mind, I went to check out the closet space and it was adequate. It was actually a walk-in closet with hangers on both sides and some shelves. As I began unpacking some of our smaller items, I discovered through a conversation I had with someone who almost doesn't even seem real, that my mother-in-law was a witch who wanted me gone. I remember thinking to myself that she was old and I would sooner see her dead than to live my life fearful of her and continue to unpack. Beep beep beep... it's time to wake up.

Flying High

2006-02-03T04:20:00.000-08:00

I'm in some sort of funpark adventure where there is this pool of water that does these odd waves that people come to ride. There is a bank on the other side that people get out at and make their way back to where they started. For some reason, I am not interested in going back to where I started. Instead, I climb over the fence in search of something beyond. I have Jonathan with me and it is a struggle to get the both of us across. He is older and not the baby he is now.

Next I remember being in my house, but it wasn't the same house. It was a strange house yet I knew it was mine. We're in the midst of a huge thunderstorm and the rain somehow buckled the side of one of my walls like paper does when it gets wet. I'm worried and concerned about how we'd ever be able to sell this place and get out if there is such massive damage done. There are people with me, I suppose they are family, but nobody I know.

Before I know it, I'm off in an old-style car with a family. I suppose it was my own but it wasn't the same family I know. They were more like something out of a 60's tv show or something. We're driving through the rain and suddenly the storms begin to behave very unusual. The sky is bright blue with black clouds in the far off distance. It's almost digital looking. Everything began to float as though gravity was decreasing. Suddenly, we were flying through the air and everything was flying around and at us. It was a continuous battle to dodge all of the flying objects as everything seemed to be moving at high speeds. Everything that was not attached to the earth was in the air, and I remember these huge, life-sized pieces of fruit flying at us!

We come across this pond, no, it was really where water had flooded the area. All of us plunged into the water to try and rescue people. I remember coming up with animals, even a chicken. The people who lived in these homes were inside circus cages, but happy and thanking us. These cages, somehow, were safe places for them. Then that lousey alarm clock went off and I had to wake up. Darn, hate it when that happens. lol.

Wild Ride

2006-02-02T04:28:00.000-08:00

I vaguely remember chatting on the computer again with an old "friend" and wondering why we were talking again but the dream was fleeting and gave way to more adventurous ones.

My former manager was having a party in her honor and I was invited. It was the most amazing place! There were many levels and it was so artistic with inside rivers and fountains and such beautiful lighting. The place was so huge and there were so many people there. I remember there being mazes of rivers that you could float down and that's what we did. I was constantly trying to find her and when I finally did, we had a wonderful talk, but I don't remember what we talked about. I just know it was very heart felt and pleasant. She had been busy enjoying her retirement.

I remember preparing to take another trip to Florida, except, this time I was living at my parents house and somehow, their home was nothing like I had ever remembered. I wasn't married and not a mother or at least it seemed that way. There was no time to pack because I had to hurry and get to work, but I was freaking out because in my mind, I wouldn't be back until 12am and it was already time to go. Silly me, as I had picked up the phone and dialed the number to let them know I was going to be late, it dawned on me that I am first shift now and would have plenty of time when I got home. I quickly hung up the phone just as someone answered. I wasn't sure who it was but her voice was soft and hard to understand. Thank god they wouldn't recognize the number I was calling from! I felt bad for just hanging up.

Well, I'm late from all the worrying so off to work I go! I'm in a small car, seems like it was topless and I had already begun to pack stuff into it. For some reason, I end up on the sidewalk close to a building. They overlapped in such a way that one would stick out further than the other and they were made in bricks like the oldstyle downtown buildings used to be. I have maybe a foot between me and the overlapping building or at least plenty of room to pull out and get back onto the road. Suddenly, some middle-aged country bunkin man pulls up behind me and figures I'm going to slow so he decides to purposely give me a nudge. He kept nudging me until I was trapped between him and the overlapping building. I was irate. About that time, my husband, Billy pulls up... ahh... so now I'm married?!?! He doesn't do much but he's there in time to tell me bye as I escape from this lunatic and hurry off to work. I glance at his tag to see if I could get his number to report his stupidity, but he had something taped over it to confuse the reader. Guess this jerk liked to play games... most men do it seems.

Anyway, I speed off, wind in my hair and electricity flowing through my veins. Suddenly, I'm on a MOTORCYCLE!!! I rode that thing as if I had been riding all my life, but in reality, it's only been a dream of mine. As I sped off, I remember the creepy dude who had trapped me was suddenly on a motorcycle also. So odd. As I was busy fleeing to work, my son's jacket flies out of the basket of things I had packed so I did a quick U-turn to go pick it up. As I picked it up, I spotted a woman who looked exactly like my Grandmother from behind.... no way! She was in Florida, where I was supposed to be going the next day. *beep* *beep* *beep* Oh crap. I drag my dream weary butt out of bed, perform my morning rituals and here I sit typing away. Oh wait! I have to go to work now or I'll be late! ;)

Funky Party

2006-02-01T04:19:00.000-08:00

I'm in an upstairs room surrounded by people, many whom I know well. One of my good guy friends comes up to me and makes a very hurtful comment about my weight and laughs. His wife is shocked and we exchange confused glaces at each other. He is obviously intoxicated and had too much to drink but I am insulted and hurt so I tell him off and rush out of the room and down the stairs. I find myself in another room even more crowded than the last. Everyone is dancing around me and having a great time. I soon forget the hurt feelings I had but in the back of my mind is a reminder that I should watch what I eat. Next thing I know, I have a yummy box of valentine chocolates in my hand. They are so irresistable that I begin eating them. They taste soooo good. No! I can't have them so I start offering everone a piece until they are gone.

Shortly after, I head outside where I see this huge play set with slides and swings and all kinds of fun tunnels and such. It must have been as large as my house and it's made out of brightly colored, hard plastics. (Who says you don't dream in color?) I decide that I must get it for my son, but I am not sure how I'm going to get such a huge thing home, much less find room for it in our already crowded back yard. I've apparently bought him something like this before.

The next thing I remember, I'm in this somewhat dark room with a story teller and some impish guy that I've never met before. I think this must be a connecting room the the party house I was just in. We're the only people around and it's quiet. We sit with the story teller and she begins telling her story and as she does, it begins happening around us. First, I see this ominous man hiding in the shadows. There is a color of red about him. He is an imposing figure dressed in tattered clothes and wearing a disfigured mask of some sort... or was it a mask? It could have been his face! He quickly turns to face us, but somehow, I don't think we were supposed to see him move. Because we did, he goes after the impish man who was with us. Suddenly, there is a chase and I'm on the sidelines watching. They're running through this child size train set bashing it up as they go. The ominous man obviously wants to do great harm to this poor man and will do the same to me if he gets a chance. Even though he's chasing the impish man, I feel as though I'm being chased as well, but I'm the dreamer so I'm watching. In the end, I am the one to bring this man down, but he's a big fat cat!!!! He's just a cat? But somehow he's still dangerous... oh well, my dream was over.

Bones

2006-01-30T04:21:00.000-08:00

I don't remember how I got here or why I was here or why it was even important for me to stay, but I ended up at these odd underground pod camps. Inside these pods was enough room for two or three cots and a little elbow room to move around. The door was circular shaped and depending on the pod, opened from different directions. Some opened from a side angle and some would open from the very top and you would drop into the pod. I was urged by this girl to this one particular pod that was at the very end, further out in the woods. It was the only top opening pod I went to. She kept saying the person I was looking for was in this pod. She opened it herself as she really did seem to believe that I would find what I was searching for, however, all that was there were human bones. Who I was searching for was alive and surely she was mistaken. I was supposed to stay at that camp overnight, but there was no way I would stay in that pod with human remains. Frustrated and unsure where I was to go next, I moved on.

Hot Chills and Dreams and Death....

2006-01-21T13:30:00.000-08:00

I wanted to start this blog specifically to write about my dreams, because I rarely ever remember them when I awaken, and when I do, they're very quickly forgotten and I rarely ever think of them again.

Last night, when an old friend was over, I fell asleep on the couch, unable to stay awake to visit any longer. I had some alcohol and was already pretty tired, so crashing was inevitable. I woke up about an hour or so later with a horrible chill running through my body. I felt as if death were ready to claim me. I immediately ran to the bathroom and ran hot water, hoping to ease the chill. I began to fall asleep again, so I got out. The chill never completely went away. In fact, every single time I woke up that night after heading to my bed, I was drenched in sweat and if I so much as moved a muscle, another chill would coarse through my body. If I stayed completely still, I seemed to be okay, just hot and sweaty. I was really hot too... it was one of the wierdest feelings I've ever had. I don't think I had a fever. I didn't feel feverish and I usually know when I have one. It was very scary but I was too sleepy to care for very long so I would quickly drift back to sleep.

Anyway, in between these very odd wakings, I would dream and most every dream was about death or something unsettling. In my first dream, my husband kept dying on me. The first time, he was in some sort of unusual medical care place and was missing most of his body. He was dead. His body remained there but I felt this need for it to remain hidden. He was still alive though. It's like he was replaced with an identical version each time because he died several times, once I think by my own hand. I hid that one in the trunk of my car along with a few other people, whom I didn't even know. I remember worrying that someone would find these bodies or that their stench would attract attention. I began to consider dumping them someplace they would never be discovered so I could be free of their burden. I was more disturbed than anything and for some reason, the fact that he kept dying didn't bother me. It's like I knew he was always going to still be there. At the end, I finally told him about his deaths and his dead bodies everywhere and I woke up again.

When I went back to sleep, we had these redneck neighbors who lived behind us with a chain link fence between our yards. I had this creepy old shed that we kept padlocked. There were inhuman, hidious creatures living inside that would make very scary noises. I cleaned the shed out trying to find them which is when I realized they weren't just hiding in the shed, they had made their homes in the walls. I put everything back and left. When I came back home from wherever I had gone, the door had been opened and the padlock missing. I went in to see what had happened and apparently, it had a back door that was also open. I went to it and my neighbor, who had long, straight, dark brown hair, was standing outside removing my son's power wheels and had already stolen most everything else that had been in there. His redneck family came out and we started fighting. The next thing I knew, I'm off to this really huge theatrical type event. It had an air of darkness to it and something just didn't feel right. I vaguely remember there being these warped clowns and hundreds of people in the crowd. Someone was after the people there and was trying to render everyone helpless so they could steal their valuables. I remember on my way out, finding money laying around everywhere, mostly $100 bills and picking them up. I figured there was no way to find the rightful owners since you just couldn't trust someone to tell the truth, so decided I would donate the money to charity. The dream ended.

My dreams really made absolutely no sense at all, but they were just so bizarre, I felt compelled to put them to words so I wouldn't forget. I may add later as I remember more, if I do. When I finally woke up for good this morning, I just remember laying there trying to move without the painful chills, and finally, my body overcame the strange possession.